One of the most powerful lessons that we have learned in working with seniors and their families, including our own elderly family members, is that we may not have a choice in the challenges that they encounter, but we do have a choice in what we do when faced with them.
We can’t wish away Mom’s dementia or Dad’s stroke, but as caregivers and family members, we can choose how we respond to the situation and to our loved ones experiencing the difficulties first hand.
An important first step in facing physical, mental, or medical obstacles with a senior loved one is to do everything you can to understand what your loved one is going through – to meet them where they are. Meeting someone where they are means putting aside our thoughts, opinions and wants to focus on theirs instead. It means seeking to understand more than the diagnosis or the prognosis; it means being curious about what your loved one’s thoughts and feelings are. What are their fears and questions about what is happening or what comes next? What do they want or need, and how can those needs be met? When you do what you can to be in each moment with them, trying to see it from their eyes instead of your own, it can help them feel understood, safe, and supported. Once you better understand their point of view, you have more options of how to respond because you will have a broader perspective and more information to work with.
Talking to those who have experience with what your loved one is going through provides you not only with helpful information and resources, but also with the support you need as a caregiver or loved one. Being a caregiver or the adult child now responsible for making decisions for a parent is highly stressful, and you don’t have to go through this alone. Seeking guidance within the community of professionals as well as support groups for caregivers can be of great benefit to you. When someone meets you where you are, listening and supporting you, you are better prepared to be present with your loved one and face the changes and challenges together. Professionals can also guide and support you in deciding when dad can no longer safely be cared for at home. Knowing what the plan is ahead of time reduces anxiety and seeing what the options look like may reduce misconceptions that could hold you back from making timely decisions.
Senior Living Specialists can help you in all stages of your journey with an aging loved one. We can suggest in-home support and resources as well as help you find placement options when it is time. We have relationships with care providers across the greater San Antonio area and knowledge of the many types of care available here. We can minimize the research you have to do, providing a short list of appropriate matches that meet your loved one’s and your needs.
This is what we do. We are here for you and would be honored to work with you.
